Road Trip: I was promised harps and fairies!!

Puppy declaration coming up: fall is my favorite season! Leaves that crunch and scatter when you pounce on them... cooler weather that gives me extra romping energy. Yep, doesn't get better than fall.

Well, except for winter... I mean, what is better than chasing your buddies into a giant snow pile? Nothing! Except, of course, rolling around in a bed of fresh flowers in the spring... And we can't forget the magic of swimming in summer... 

Anyway, you get my point. Fall is AWESOME! Almost as awesome as being promised a weekend getaway with harps AND fairies! Unbelievable? Too good to be true? 

Boy oh boy, I was so excited - just salivating on the prospect of gnawing on a harp and chasing after a fairy. 

Instead, my parents packed up the car and drove to West Virginia to a place called HARPERS FERRY that had - you guessed it - no harps and no fairies!?

Keeping a watchful eye for harps, fairies or anything else of interest.... squirrels, deer, neighbors...

That said, my disappointment didn't last long as we did my favorite activity in the entire world (I mean, other than the BIG THREE S's - snacking, snoozing, and swimming)... We went hiking!!

I was so psyched. I take hiking super seriously. I mean, a puppy has to - I'm constantly amazed that my humans don't fall down as they wobble around on their two legs... Honestly, I feel so bad for them sometimes. So I make sure that I'm leading he expedition. I love to walk in the front of the pack, sniffing everything I can to determine the threat level! Once it's puppy approved, we move on!

Harpers Ferry is a great park for puppies like me. Nice wide trails, well-marked to keep my humans from getting too lost, and many puppy-friendly restaurants that have treats and water available to pups.

Leading the way!

Making new friends!

Made it to the top!

Post hike zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

DJ Jazz Playlist: 'Fleas' Don't Stop the Music

As I've said before, I am a puppy and I love to bring the paaaaarty! And my favorite kind of party? One that is HOPPING. In this case, literally.

Last week, Mom realized I'd managed to sneak some small brown, hopping party mates past her security check points. She calls them fleas -- I call them friends!

This resulted in a number of unfortunate events. First, she confiscated the party palace - ie, my old, comfy, stinky, stained, mostfavoritebestest bed in the entire world - and replaced it with an (admittedly) comfier bed with a removable cover that can be (gasp!!!).... WASHED. But hey, at least it wasn't me getting the wash. Right? Right.....????

Wrong.

Her next move consisted of having some hired thugs hold me down, suds me up with some anti-party soap, and chop off my long rocker locks. Not cool, Mom.

Not. Cool. At. All.

So far, it seems like she stopped the party... for now. So, I thought I'd put together a party playlist in honor of the occasion:

1. Fleas Remember Me - Tim McGraw
2. Fleas, Please! - Snoop Dog (<-- obviously, I'm a HUGE fan of the Dog)
3. Fleas, Go Home - The Rolling Stones (<-- my Mom's favorite song on this playlist)
4. Fleas Don't Die - Robbie Williams
5. Fleas, Forgive Me - Bryan Adams
6. Baby, Fleas Don't Go - Aerosmith
7. Fleas, Fleas, Fleas... Let Me Get What I Want - The Smiths
8. Can You Fleas Crawl Out Your Window? - Bob Dylan
9. Fleas Stay - Kylie Minogue
10..... and the classic family favorite: My Dog Has Fleas!

Pouting on my new (clean.... blech!) bed

New Romping Move Alert!

Yesterday, I ran into my buddy Percy while on my midday walk. Percy is 1.5 yr old Airedale Terrier and he is craaaaazy. And lemme tell you, crazy is contagious. I can't even look at his fuzzy mug without wanting to chase him all over the mean streets of Baltimore.

Percy is one of my favorite neighborhood romping buddies. He's fast, loves to make hairpin turns, and when I least expect it, will try to pin me on the ground (and as you can see from the photos, the dude is nearly twice my size!). I gotta stay one step ahead of him, so I used yesterday as an opportunity to try out a new move (one I've only gotten to practice in daycare)... the tail chomp!

Mom was horrified and kept apologizing to Percy's dad, saying that I NEVER tail chomp (hehe... she has NO idea!). Good thing that Percy and his dad are cool dudes - Percy loved it! But romping like that is hard work. I snoozed the rest of the afternoon.

Introducing DJ Jazz

I have an alter-ego. They call me DJ Jazz, always keeping my ear to the ground listening for the latest beats (and the sound of treats...). I'm lucky to have such floppy ears as it makes putting an ear to the ground a lot easier. My mind is on music (and treats) and I've got music (and treats) on my mind.

Of course, like most artists, my parents don't understand. They tell me to stop scratching the floor of my crate-cave, and I say that I'm scratching out some mad beats! They call my singing 'yowling' and won't let me practice after 9 pm. How can I be a true artist if I can't work through the night??

Truth be told, as I'm still a puppy, I can't stay up much past 9 pm anyway, but that twitching you see when I'm in deep sleep? That's not me dreaming of running, that's me dreaming of dancing.

DJ Jazz here... Ear to the ground!

Happy Howl-o-weenie

I do love me some deer antlers... but the parents misunderstood me. I said I wanted to EAT a reindeer, not BE a reindeer. Utterly humiliating. Does this look like the face of a feared reindeer hunter?! Mom keeps calling me "Max" and saying we should take a family Christmas photo in it. That's a great idea, Mom! I promise to help and make a few "adjustments" to the outfit so that it'll be perfect. And by perfect, I mean, missing one antler and definitely losing this dopey red nose.

Table Jumping for Beginners: 6 Easy Steps

Step 1: Scope it out.

Step 2: Test the launch pad.

Step 3: Eyes on the prize! Kick away launch pad with unbridled joy!

Step 4: Ruh roh... what happened to the launch pad?!??!

Step 5: When beloved human carries you off table, hop onto another illegal location and deploy most pathetic puppy eyes.

Step 6:  Start process all over again. 

Say Whaaa? Sorry, Can't Hear You...!

I'll be honest... sometimes, when my mom tells me to sit, sit now, sit sit sit sit and pleasebeagoodpuppy, I pretend I can't hear her. I give her a wide-eyed, "wait -- are you talking to ME?" face and then fling myself on the ground for a good puppy thrashing. This is a GREAT game and I know my mom agrees because her voice gets quite high and she starts moving her arms in some crazy ways. My mom has got some moves. 

But recently, I haven't been pretending. I'm actually not hearing as well as I could be because there is a PARTY going on inside my ear. Wax, hair, some yeast -- it's a full house in there and things are jumping. Truth be told, it's also fairly annoying and I've been dying to find a way to tell the yeast to tone it down. I'm a puppy and I like to party, but this is a little too "rave night in an illegal warehouse in Brooklyn" kinda event and enough is enough. 

Then last night... my parents tried to kill me, via ear canal. Like that movie Wrath of Pecan (YUM!). I was in the middle of my early-evening-pre-bedtime nap (dreaming about chasing glorious, scrumptious elephants) and out of nowhere my ear was flipped up and a cold shot of liquid poison was dripped in. Wham, Bam, Pow!

Blissfully dreaming about chasing elephants before the attempted murder...

I thought I was being murdered, so you can imagine my shock when I woke up enough to see MY MOM holding said poison in his hand. They say that the majority of crimes are committed by someone you know, and let me tell you, ain't that da truth! I told my mom as such and let her know that I'd only forgive her if she gave me raw steak immediately. She shook her head and went back to typing on her computer, which I'm assuming means she's ordering the steak online????? (Omahaomahaomahaomaha...) 

Funny thing is that I'm starting to feel a bit better today and my hearing is returning to its near super sonic levels which means I can hear all the sounds in the kitchen again. I can also hear mom's "commands", but no way am I letting her know that...

Off to sit by the door to keep an ear out for my steak delivery!

Party on, puppies!

- Jasper

UPDATE (Mom wrestles the computer back from puppy): Thanks to all who were concerned about Jasper's ear issues! We've found that a combination of regular ear hair plucking and the Halo Herbal Ear Wash from B-Naturals has greatly reduced the dragon's discomfort. Halo is a mix of herbal extracts with a witch hazel base that is gentle, non-greasy and smells SO much better than the ear washes we purchased from the vet.